I never told you, but I’m baptised. My grandfather was a very religious man, but my grandmother wasn’t. So when they had my mother, she wasn’t raised Christian, but she was baptised to kinda “start” the process and let her choose her own way. But when she was a kid, during communism, religion wasn’t supported very much, at least not in the organised way. The churches weren’t able to operate. So she never got the chance to find her way to God, since the family was only half Christian. And this is how we do it in our family. We get baptised – we all are – my mum, my sister and me. We go to church on special occasions, usually on Christmas. But none of us was ever raised religious. My father is strictly atheist, he even kind of.. despises it. Not just the catolicism, but all the religions. But I can’t blame him for that. Again, that’s because he wasn’t raised religious. And the communism did a part in it, too.
I don’t have a strong relationship to any religion. I already told you, I believe there IS something. But I think it’s very personal and I think no organized group can just claim that they know the Big Truth.
I was always kind of experimenting with what you call in your book “occultism”. I think there is something about astrology (you probably realized it when I wrote you my Red Moon post), and I have these beautifully illustrated cards I sometimes “play” with… and they really can answer me my questions. It’s like with you and your Bible in the desserts. I ask a question… and the answer they give me actually really makes sense. And it even… turned out to be true in the past.
Now I tell you something. In the mountains on the east side of the Czech Republic, there used to be women… kind of like witches. They combined old slavic wisdom, herbal medicine and pagan “rituals” (things you could probably call witchcraft) with very strong Christian faith. They used to be known all over middle Europe, people were coming to them to be healed from their diseases, physical pain, they could be cured from their psychological issues and they could even get help to  reach their dreams (usually make some man fall in love with a certain woman). There were witnesses who even tell these women were able to control the weather, stop big storms, call up rain when the land got too dry. It’s like from a fairy tale, isn’t it? Anyway, they used this pagan practice, followed by prayers, asking God to help them healing/helping the person who came to them asking for help. Their “power” was inherited from mother to daughter, never to a son. You can track their tradition back to the Middle Ages, first mention about them comes from the christian inquisition era. It’s all in the chronicles and archives.
These women lived in “Žítková” – quite similar to my name, do you see it? I visited this place last summer, it was my first “solo trip”. But unfortunately, they are not there anymore. They were all chaised by the communists (after being used by the Nazis years before) and most of them eventually killed. The last woman who survived the communist era died 10 years ago, without an heir.
Anyway, this is why I’m telling you.
I believe in something that might resemble Christian God. But I don’t trust the Church as an institution (I don’t trust institutions in general – schools, states, marriage,…).
I believe, the greatest power comes from nature. I know it, because I simply feel it. I am a “tree hugger”, some places, I literally feel the “spirit” of the place. It’s like it can charge me with energy (or the exact opposit, if the place’s energy is already exhausted). I believe in the flow of energy, which in this case resembles more the buddhist belief.
And I kind of believe in these pagan practice. Because it simply communicates with me.
But, what I want to say is that I don’t think these things go actually agains each other. I think they could actually cooperate. I’t like… the whole, ultimate power appears in the purity of nature. The more natural thing is, the closets is its connection to the original Creator (who/whatever it is). The Nature itself is like the body of the Creator, the physical display of its existence. And the “occult” stuff Is just an old way people used to communicate with these powers.
This is my personal Belief.
By the way, if you ever have time, watch the movie “The man from Earth”.